#16 Spring is here

Unfurl the season of renewal and growth

“If Winter comes,

can Spring be far behind?” 

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

As I sat down to write this essay, the spring equinox was unfolding. And by the time you read it, we would already be in the season of renewal, growth, bloom and vibrancy. Nature is unfurling hope, resilience and love.

What really does this intriguing phenomenon of equinox symbolize? Well, literally speaking it is a conjunction of Latin words ‘aequi’ (equal) and ‘nox’ (night), meaning the (near) equal length of day and night. Spring equinox is one of the two such days in a year. The other being the autumn or fall equinox that heralds longer nights. Spring equinox, in contrast, heralds longer daytime. It ushers in hope, growth and strength. It is not for no reason that it is also called the vernal equinox. Vernal indeed – which means new, fresh and verdant.

Spring equinox is the time for reverence of life. It is the time for awakening, clarity, balance, restoration and regeneration. At some point in our grief journey, each one of us finds a moment of spring equinox. A time when our pain, vulnerability and sorrow are ready to be held just as tender or strong as our unfolding hope and resilience. Having suffered long in the dark stillness of shock, despair, fear, anguish and trauma, the soreness of our grief at some stage begins to open itself up for healing and restoration.

The story thereafter is ready to pick pace. Just as fallen seeds of autumn somehow keep themselves alive beneath the thick layers of snow-laden winter, we humans too have an innate capacity to keep our will to survive and restore alive, no matter how hard the storms of grief and trauma hit us. Love after-all never leaves the side of grief. It remains alive and springs anew when its moment arrives. Just as the new buds sprout from beneath the thick layers of snow, we also re-emerge in life, affirming and healing our grief, and growing from it at the same time.

“What a strange thing!

to be alive

beneath cherry blossoms.” 

~ Kobayashi Issa

Cherry blossoms, supposedly Japan’s most famous symbol of spring, are also believed to be a metaphorical representation of life’s fleeting nature. One reason the Japanese revere them so much is because of their evanescent beauty. They bloom with magnificence in spring. And wither away quickly, in peace and acceptance. The spring equinox is one such moment of liminal wisdom – of realizing the transience of life; of being willing to face loss and grief; of choosing to live each moment with gratitude; and re-emerging from grief with growth and grace.

“Blooming & Wilting Roses - Together in the same bunch” Picture clicked by Neena Verma at Nehru Park, New Delhi, India

Of-course this balancing is not without tension. There is always a pull towards remaining still and curled up inside the weary blanket of our pain, sorrow and anger. No doubt the dark cold gloom of the long night of grief haunts. Affirm it. At the same time remember that life’s gravitational pull is much stronger. The waning darkness and emerging light show up together on the horizon. Similarly, our despair, pain, hope and will to survive too keep each other company.

Spring equinox invites you to honour the waning dark and the growing light with same reverence and attention. Let this time of the year inspire you to affirm your grief journey, and open yourself up to transforming it into a growth pilgrimage. From here onwards, the daylight grows longer and stronger. The vast open skies of resilience, renewal and growth invite you to open the windows and let the fresh breeze of healing, resilience and growth stoke you.

“A world of grief and pain

Flowers bloom

Even then.” 

~ Kobayashi Issa

As well as appreciating the new and the emergent, in Japan the spring equinox is also the time to remember the dead. In Christian consciousness, spring is the time to usher in resurrection. How profound! Seize this moment of transition, and let your pain and lament transform into a loving reminisce of your deceased loved one. Commemorate this meaningful transition with something real, even if symbolic. Draw a picture, cook a meal, write a poem, plant a sapling, light a candle, say a prayer – anything that inspires and enables the night of your grief meet and surrender to the pink splendour of the unfolding dawn of growth.

It is a beautiful and deeply meaningful synchronicity that spring equinox coincides with World Storytelling Day. It is time to write a new story of your grief journey – a story where you affirm your ‘grief’ and carve the way to ‘existential growth’ with equal faith and strength, just as the day and light equal on spring equinox. Allow the night of your pain get ready to slowly wane and become less intense. And let the dawning light of hope, strength and love unfold and grow stronger. Welcome the spring equinox moment of your grief journey. Make way for renewal. The dawning light is here to shower you with hope, strength and love. Allow the bloom. Let the paradoxical partners of grief and growth enter into an existential dance.  

Neena Verma on a spring afternoon at Mughal Gardens, New Delhi, India Picture clicked by Dr Robert Neimeyer

As a ‘Grief & Growth’ Specialist and ‘Resilience, Purpose & Transitions’ Coach, Practitioner & Trainer, I am here to support you in your grief-affirmation and healing journey, and take the path of meaningful growth and transformation. I coach individuals, families and small groups affirm, heal and process their grief, and grow from it with resilience, meaning and purpose. Please feel free to reach me at growwithneena@gmail.com if you need (whether in personal or organizational context) counselling, coaching, therapy and training in ‘Grief & Growth’ and ‘Resilience, Life-Purpose, Post-traumatic Growth, Transitions & Ageing’ realms.

Stay tuned to continue learning more about the complex phenomenon of grief, and my six-phase GROWTH Mandala model, and to develop #GriefWisdom. Meanwhile, you may find some solace, support and strength in my books Grief ~ Growth ~ Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage  and A Mother’s Cry .. A Mother’s Celebration. Read yourself and/or gift to someone on a grief journey, or grief practitioners. And if you like my books, please leave your review on Amazon & Goodreads

Above all, remember to hope, love & smile. 

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