#7 September ... A Verse of Life, Loss, Lament, Longing & Love
September - The month of my birth, marriage, loss & grief.
September, the month of my birth, marriage and grief.
September, the month of eternal pain, of joy so brief.
September, you brought me to life, to love, and to loss.
September, why punish me to bear grief’s albatross.
September, you only saddled me on life’s carriage.
September, you only ushered me in to marriage.
September, you were supposed to be the month of joy.
September, why did you decide to wreck and destroy.
September, why did you have to become month of loss.
September, why thrust on me bereaved mother’s cross.
September, my tears may not show, but my heart wails.
September, why pierce my soul with lament-full nails.
September, your equinox is anything but equanimous.
September, you are dark and grim, not at all luminous.
September, why did you try me so ruthlessly hard.
September, why did you have to take away my bard.
September, I yearn for him every dusk, every morn.
September, every moment I long, for life I am torn.
September, I see him in skies, in every single twilight.
September, still my pain remains raw, sore and tight.
September, he smiles at me from the expanse of clouds.
September, yet I remain caged, in grief’s thick shrouds.
September, give me back who you stole away in treason.
September, return my bard, my monk, my anchor, my son.
September, how do I make peace with you ‘heartless thief’.
September, why did you have to become the month of grief.
September, my grief forever aches, every moment I mourn.
September, in my deafening silence, my pain is sorely borne.
September, you are an unkind, unfeeling, unavailable friend.
September, you also hold meaning, that I must comprehend.
September, it is unimaginably painful, well neigh impossible.
September, I am trying nonetheless, to stand in your crucible.
September, be a compassionate mate, a loving parent.
September, let my love heal my grief, pain and lament.
September, show my cry the way to calm and calling.
September, let me marvel his ‘Presence’ so enthralling.
September, fill love in my remembrance and my longing.
September, fill my mourning with mission and meaning.
September, grant me peace, hope, strength, love and grace.
September, guide me from pain to purpose-inspired space.
September, grief, growth, grace, are co-pilgrims in my core.
September, unfurl the expansive skies and let them all soar.
September, stay alive in your numbing dense quiet pain.
September, shower love. September, breathe life again.
September, let me once again give birth to my precious son.
September, bless my heart’s womb, my splendid child-sun.
… Neena Verma, 24th September 2022
Dear Friends
Hope my poem evoked something poignant, something profound in you. My heart outpoured this verse of lament and love on my elder son Utkarsh’s transcendence day (24th September).
I have given voice to my grief as a bereaved mother in my book A Mother’s Cry .. A Mother’s Celebration
And I have shared in my book Grief ~ Growth ~ Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage the grief expertise and wisdom bestowed on me by Almighty through my long practice and volunteering as ‘Grief & Growth’ specialist and ‘Resilience, Purpose & Transitions Coach’; my mentor and other experts; my own lived grief journey; and above all the grievers who allow me to companion them in their grief journey.
Hope you read and like my books and/or gift to someone on a grief journey, or grief practitioners. Please leave your review on Amazon & Goodreads.
Feel free to reach me at growwithneena@gmail.com if you need counselling, therapy, coaching, expert companioning support, training, mentoring in the ‘Grief & Growth’ or ‘Resilience, Life-Purpose, Transitions & Ageing’ realm.
Stay tuned to continue developing Grief-Wisdom. Do leave a comment to let me know your thoughts and feelings.
Keep affirming life in all its hues and forms. And above all, remember to hope, love & smile.
PS
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Dear Neena,
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem. It resonates at so many different levels.
My son , Divakar (Mohan) and I were both born in September. And my wedding anniversary is June, the month that he left earth. Now, these two months are filled with desperate despair and have lost the celebratory mode completely. Though we try. Divakar is an only child and the road ahead, without him, seems unbearably long and dark. There are days i can barely crawl out of my home as the pain hits me and smashes me.
I write to channelise my grief. In absentia is a collection of my poems which does this. And recently, there's a curated collection called Living on in which nine of us have memorialised the ones we love.
I wish that some on a grief journey would read these if they so feel inclined.
Thank you again
The poem is really moving ,it touches the core of ones heart . I can feel the pain as I reminiscence the days in school when you as a very involved mother would come to pick up our bright boy Utkarsh .
I also remember how you had helped me type ,illustrate and compile poems(composed by students ) for Teachers day .
May this creative flow of thoughts continue to heal you and reach out to many more who are experiencing the same .