#23 Being Grief-Wise
A day for grief awareness
जातस्य हि ध्रुवो मृत्युर्ध्रुवं
(jātasya hi dhruvo mṛityur dhruvaṁ)
Death is certain for one who has been born
The Bhagwat Gita (Chapter 2, Shloka 27)
I didn’t know until recently that August 30th marks the National Grief Awareness Day in the USA. My ignorance is despite the fact that I have been working in the grief, post-traumatic and resilience space for over 16 years now, and have myself been on a grief journey for almost nine years. I don’t want to hazard a guess as to how many of us would be aware of this day. To imagine how many of us have witnessed or been part of even some basic grief sensitivity conversations, is an even harder ask.
Death is the only eternal truth of life, as Lord Krishna avers in The Bhagwat Gita (the sacred Hindu scripture that chronicles the Hind-God incarnate Lord Krishna’s sermon about dharma (duty) on the battle-field of Kurukshetra). It becomes certain the very moment life is conceived. There is hardly anyone you and I know who will live an entire lifetime without suffering or witnessing loss and bereavement. It is an integral part of life. We all have to bear loss and go on a grief journey at some point in time. And yet most of us remain personally un-attuned to grief and socially un-groomed for grief sensitivity. Even though grief is an inevitable guest to every life, no one is willing or prepared to welcome it. Understandable. We nonetheless have to. Thus making it imperative for us to cultivate grief literacy and sensitivity.
“Such is the fabric of life... loss woven intricately with every warp and weft.”
~ Neena Verma
So often I am asked what really is the nature of grief? How long does it last? Is it really stage-bound? What grief reactions and affects one might experience? And so on and so forth. It is not just people curious to understand the intricacies of grief and cultivate grief sensitivity, or those training to be grief practitioners – it is more often those on grief journey themselves. Surprisingly, or actually not surprisingly, for the bereaved, grief seems wrapped in a haze that they know so intimately, yet don’t quite understand. Although this intrigue is bit more agonizing for those bereaved and experiencing grief for the first time, even those who know this territory since before, also find grief hard to navigate their way around.
Grief is by nature a foggy zone. Sadly with there being little, if any, will, ability and effort to develop grief-literacy and grief-sensitivity – we keep this fog wrapped in dark dampness. It is to bring some light to this dark foggy zone and demystify grief that I had started this substack in the July of 2022. The hope and intention was to create a safe space where we could all cultivate, co-create and share Grief-Wisdom. While I hold my responsibility to be your grief guide, there is little I could do without your insightful engagement. I bow in appreciation and gratitude to our meaningfully engaged and inspiring community of #GriefWiseWithNeenaVerma that has steadily grown from six in-faith subscribers in the July of 2022 to 450 as of this moment. Your faith, curiosity, wisdom and patience keeps me going.
Grief shows up differently at different points in the same or different grief journeys. So what really is the grief journey like! Stay tuned. We will explore the nature and nuances of grief journey in my next post. I know I have been missing in action over the last one-and-a-half months. I express my guilt and seek your forgiveness. Multiple hardships kept me on a giddy roller-coaster of trauma and resilience. A journey chequered with tribulations of-course. None though daunting enough to derail our shared labour of love – this #GriefWisdom substack. I promise to keep writing. And I hope and trust you will keep reading, reflecting, sharing your views, and supporting me in serving the noble mission of ‘grief & growth’ wisdom.
Until I return, hopefully soon, please take very good care of yourself. Meanwhile, I urge you to take inspiration and cue from National Grief Awareness Day of the USA, and consider dedicating a day on your calendar to deepening and spreading the message #GriefWisdom and #GriefSensitivity. As a ‘Grief & Growth’ Specialist and ‘Resilience, Emotional Wellbeing, Purpose & Transitions’ Coach, Practitioner & Trainer, I am and shall always be here to guide you in grief journey. I work with individuals, families, groups and organisations to guide and facilitate grief affirmation, resilience and post-traumatic growth journey, and cultivating grief sensitivity. Please feel free to reach me at growwithneena@gmail.com if you need (whether in personal or organizational context) counselling, coaching, therapy or training in grief healing, resilience, post-traumatic Growth and life-purpose clarity. And please share forward my coordinates with those in similar need.
Stay tuned to continue learning more about the complex phenomenon of grief, and my six-phase GROWTH Mandala model, and to develop #GriefWisdom. Meanwhile, you may find some solace, support and strength in my books
Grief ~ Growth ~ Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage &
A Mother’s Cry .. A Mother’s Celebration.
Read yourself and/or gift to someone on a grief journey, and the grief practitioners. And if you like my books, please leave your review on Amazon & Goodreads
Above all, remember to hope, love & smile. May you be showered by the grace of today’s super full moon.
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to let me and other readers know your thoughts. Please share with others, especially with those on a grief journey &/or grief practitioners.
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I invite you to start writing on substack. And if you do, please consider writing a referral for Grief-Wise with Neena Verma
Hi Neena, I too have been away from writing and substack for 6 weeks-a busy summer, but not with trauma. Healing thoughts to you if you are dealing with difficulties. I live in the USA and had no clue that there was a national grief day. Not advertised in anyway here! Strangely though, or serendipitously, I found myself advocating for myself and educating others once again on my own grief health process that was interfered with and brought me to stand ground, express what was insensitive in a calm way, and share a way to help me go forward- when some of Laura’s (sacred to me) but meaningless to some others were thrown in a dumpster, and deemed unretrievable. I shared the story and someone else ordered replacement items. though largely un-replacable , this gesture of kindness toward me was much appreciated, and I welcome it. Thx for letting me share.
Grief doesn't decrease with time; may be we grow and grief seems smaller with passage of time. Beautiful and thought provoking piece, Madam. I remember one incident when in one of the Nordic Countries, there was a mass shooting; the families affected and society at large gathered and they cried for the lost lives. it was so therapeutic.